


The last time

by Casey_Valentine_Ramsey



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boss/Employee Relationship, Character Death, Coma, Complicated Relationships, Confessions, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mentor/Protégé
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casey_Valentine_Ramsey/pseuds/Casey_Valentine_Ramsey
Summary: You never know when the world snatches away the most important person from you....... Before you can even voice your feelings for them.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	The last time

**Author's Note:**

> A re-written version of the chapter 11 (OH 2).

**[Here's a playlist for the perfect experience](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0wATUtPrP9D91GHCenbBUh?si=TnoIwIjOTmmWHSl4upbTmg) **

**# Casey**

Ethan gently guides you to the bed. You try to resist at first, but you give up against his force. You sink on the mattress slowly. He covers you with a blanket, then pulls a seat up to your bedside.

"Now lie down. As impossible as it sounds, you need to relax. Try to think about something happy."

"I'm trying,but...... I just feel like there's so much I should've done....."

"Like...?"

"I feel like I should've let my walls down more often...."

"What do you mean, Rookie?"

"I always kept myself on guard... I always thought that I'll end up broken again if I let people in. But now.... I just wonder what could've been if I..."

" 'Broken again'..?"

"I've been broken so many times before in my past. I thought if I close myself off, no one will be able to hurt me anymore. Back from when I was 7....."

His gloved hand finds yours, you sigh disappointedly as the layers of thick plastic suit blocks out his warmth.

"What happened when you were 7? That's a really little age to think about putting walls around you...."

For the 3rd time in the day, your eyes water up as the horrible incidents from your past loom over you. You whip your head to the other side, hiding your face.

"It's alright if you don't want to talk about it.... I understand."

After gathering yourself, you look back at him.

"But.... I don't regret letting my walls down for someone special after joining Edenbrook."

"For whom did you put your walls down?"

"You.... Don't know?"

You frown, looking at your joined hands.

"Who is it? Dr. Trinh? I know she's a person who will never hurt anyone. You're lucky to have her."

Your frown deepens and he looks lost.

"Ethan..... She's my friend.. I'm not talking about her..."

"Then...?"

"I'm talking about you, Ethan."

You bite your lower lip, trying to keep your tears at bay.

His throat tightens from the wave of emotion hitting him.

_'Me...? She let her walls down for me? But I-'_

"Ethan...?"

Your barely registrable voice takes his attention. He looks down at you, immediately catching the uncertainty in your eyes.

"*Cough* Rookie...I feel honoured to be the person. And for the record..... I've let my walls down for you too. But I don't think I'm worth your sacrifice. Especially since I-"

"You're worth everything Ethan."

You smile up at him, squeezing his hand with the little amount of energy left in you.

**# Ethan**

You look down, your mind racing.

_'I can't believe she- I don't deserve her. I've pushed her away, hurt her numerous times. And she thinks that I'm...... worth everything. Maybe I should stop fighting the inevitable now. I need to tell her before it's too late. Running away from her and my own feelings doesn't really make any sense now. What if I lose her..? What if she-'_

You shake your head, inhaling a deep breath.

"Since we're sharing regrets.... Mind if I share one of mine?"

"Go ahead."

"I wish I hadn't asked you to say away."

"You do?"

A bright smile lights up her face despite all the pain.

"Yeah. We've wasted so much time..... I've wasted so much time. I should've held you in my arms everyday and told you how much I...."

You stop dead on your tracks. The words get stuck in your throat. You start panicking, inwardly cursing yourself.

' _How much I.... I-? What...?'_

She looks at you, her emerald eyes alight with hope, her lips parted slightly.

You rummage through your brain to find a way....any way to express your feelings properly...

' _Dammit! She looks so hopeful and happy, don't let her down Ethan!'_

You watch helplessly as her eyes lose the glimmer with every passing moment... Shadows of fear covering her face.

"You....what, Ethan?"

You gulp, casting your eyes down.

'I can't believe I made a fool of myself like this. Why? Just why couldn't I tell her?'

She moves her hand to grasp your forearm, and a few tears break through her eyes.

_'I made her cry.... I can't believe I- I'm such a failure. I failed to tell her how I feel. I'm supposed to make her happy, it's the least I can do and here I am being the reason of her tears.'_

You softly stroke her face, wiping the tears away.

"Casey... What is it? I'm so-"

"Ethan.... What if I die?"

You look at her, your eyes wide with horror.

"No! Please don't say that ever again! You can't think like that. Please, don't."

"B-but... There's no antidote. And Bobby and Danny..... And then Raf-"

She swallows heavily, her posture shaking.

"I don't want to die, Ethan. I want to-"

"You won't. I promise. I won't let you die."

Those tired emerald eyes you fell in love with peers through your helmet, trying to catch your blue eyes.

"You pr-promise?"

"Yeah."

You squeeze her hands tightly, and she looks down.

"Can't I touch you for one last time.....?"

You move desperately, clutching both of her hands, 

"Who said you can't touch me? I'm right here."

"But it's-it's not you!"

A soft choke escapes her,more tears running down her face. 

**# Casey**

You look at Ethan helplessly, sobs escaping you. He clasps your hands with his, his voice pleading,

"It's me, It's me, Rookie!"

You shake your head violently, an awful headache making your head explode.

"No! It's a suit. It's all plastic. It's not you. You feel so different th-than this layers of plastic."

You take your hands away from him, covering your face as powerful sobs take over you.

"Casey, look at me. You know how dangerous it is. This suit is the only way to be around you. Please understand, don't act like a child."

You can feel the frustration from his voice, and you recoil from him.

"I- I just wanted to touch you one last time. I didn't mean t-to disturb you. I'm just-"

You whimper in pain, your nose completely blocked. You try to inhale some air from your mouth but you fail. Your hand clutches the blanket he covered you up with. Your vision starts to blur again..... And your head hits the pillow.

"Casey! Casey, listen to me! Casey!"

He softly shakes you, you gulp, but you feel like throwing up again.

"I'm- I'm gonna-"

You try to mumble, motioning towards the bin. He stands up immediately. Cradling your body in his arms, he rolls you to the other side. He puts the trash bin near the bed, and you sit up a little, emptying the left contents in your stomach.

He stands by your side, his fingers threading through your hair. He keeps stroking your hair, and after a long mintue, you slump back on the bed again. He puts the bin away, joining you on the bed with some tissues and a water bottle.

You whimper, your whole body throbbing from doubled up pain. He wipes your face clean, handing you the water bottle.

"I can't-"

You look up, you can see his eyes flooded with fear and concern. He opens the bottle, holding you as you drink a few gulps from it. He pulls you in his arms, his hands rubbing your back.

"Don't you dare to cry again. You're already in a..... complicated state and you're complicating it more by crying."

"Sorry..... But that doesn't really matter. I'll die anyways."

"Lord! Shut up. Use the 'd' word again and I'll-"

"You'll what?"

You giggle through your tears, his own lips curling up a little.

"Hush. Just stay like this."

He puts your head against his chest, his bulky arms encircling around your small frame.

"I'm so glad I got to hold you one last time...."

"Shhh. It's not the last time. I promise."

You peer through his helmet, meeting the depths of his blues.....

**# Ethan**

She keeps looking into your eyes.... Several minutes pass by until...

"Ethan?"

"Yeah..?"

"I think- I want to tell you something."

You move her closer to your face,

"What is it?"

"Promise that you won't laugh at me? O-or call me a fool?"

Even in her pale face, you notice a soft shade of pink covering the areas of her cheeks, neck and ears. 

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you- you think that it's foolish and pointless."

You quirk your eyebrow, isn't this going in a certain direction?

"I won't. You can tell me."

She nods, locking her gaze with yours, she speaks up in a bare whisper,

"Ethan.... You mean a lot to me. I care about you more than anything in this world."

You gawk at her, your mouth opening and closing several times from sheer shock.

"I know you said... That it's all in the past and that this is a fresh start but,I- I-"

She takes a deep breath,

"I've always felt this way about you. You remember the night we spent together to watch baby Ethan? I knew that I have feelings for you after that. After Miami, I was so sure that you felt something about me....too. But...but- then you pushed me away. It hurt a lot to pretend that you're just my mentor... But I did it because I didn't want to upset you. Even after everything we went through in my intern year, you made it clear that it was all in the past. But you-u... You mean the world to me. I've always wanted to-"

She stops short, breathless. She takes your hands, pressing frantic kisses all over them.

You eyes waver a little.

"I'm sorry,I just-"

She looks down, her face flushing from embarrassment.

"I guess.... I just wanted to let you know. There's 100% chance that I won't be here tomorrow anymore and...."

She stops. An unstoppable force of fear knocks the breath out of your lungs. The mere thought of her not being here tomorrow breaks you in ways you can't imagine. 

**# Casey**

You inhale shakily, the weight of your own words dawning to you.

You decide to wait.... Yeah. Just wait for him to speak something, anything. Moments pass by in complete silence. You fidget nervously. Your eyelids are drooping, indicating that you clearly need some sleep. But you can't close your eyes. Anxiety bubbles up in your chest, and you look up at him.

His eyes are still wide, and it seems as if he's stuck in that position. You softly touch his shoulder,

"Ethan.....? Don't you want to say something?"

He stammers,

"I- I mean.... I don't know."

"You...... don't know?"

He doesn't answer. Leaving you in a complete darkness.

Hurt and humiliation overwhelms your senses, and you turn your back towards him. Against your own will, you start sniveling. The pent up frustration bursting out all of a sudden. 

Two stuffy arms curl around your waist, pulling you back to him. He shushes you, whispering sweet nothings.

Eventually after a few minutes, you fall asleep. The mental pain overpowering the physical one, making you more tired.

But you didn't know that this sleep will turn into something else........

**# Ethan**

After two hours, you suddenly notice her heart rate slowing down all of a sudden. You softly extract yourself from the comfortable cocoon she made, heading towards the vital signs monitor. 

_'Her heart rate.... isn't up to my liking at all. Her vitals are going downhill suddenly.'_

As you think of your next possible step, a sudden long,slow beep attracks your attention. You gasp as you notice her heart rate. You fumble with the pager, your eyes burning as the realization hits you. You manage to page Baz somehow.

You run back to her, your hands cradling her face. You can feel the sting of tears but you ignore it.

"Casey.... You can't- I know you're a tough cookie. You have to-"

"Ethan? What happened?"

A very anxious Baz runs in, he immediately notices the vital monitor, his voice trembling.

"Oh,god. No Casey.... No!"

"Baz! Page June- we.... We need to move her."

"I'm on it."

You look back at her pale face, whispering,

"You have to fight, Rookie. There's so much unsaid..... I want to tell you so many things.... I want to do so much- "

Baz squeezes your shoulder,

"June is here... Can you move her?"

You nod gravely. You pick her up in bridal style, carrying her to the stretcher. You mind swims with possibilities that might've happened...

' _If only she wasn't unresponsive currently...'_

June and Baz quickly cover her up with all the protection aides. They hurry through the corridor... And you stay back, your mind repeating her words......

_"Ethan.... You mean a lot to me. I care about you more than anything in this world."_

_'I wish I told how much I.... I-_ '

You stop short, yet again facing the same problem.

_'Why can't I voice my feelings? Not even to myself?'_

You look down, finally letting the tears fall. 

**# Sienna**

You run through the corridors, your blood freezing from the fear. You peer through the window, watching doctors and nurses in hazmat suits trying to stable your best friend. You scream, tears streaming down for the umpteenth time.

"You broke your promise Casey! I told you! No comas! I told you to hold the line! You didn't- you-"

Baz looks up as he hears you, he comes near the window, 

"Hey. We're trying our best. And Casey.... I know she will be alright. Don't worry."

You look at him for a stunned moment. You take a few steps back, and suddenly someone grabs your shoulders.

"Who-?"

"Sienna... let's go."

Jackie looks at you, her eyes shining slightly from the tears.

"Where? I- I won't leave Casey alone."

"Si.... You need to stay strong. At least do it for her. Casey wouldn't be happy if she sees you like this."

"I can't. I just can't! I lost Danny.... Even R-raf is in danger. And now Casey-"

You double up in pain, and Jackie catches you. 

"Si... please come with me..."

You pull back, your body trembling.

"I won't! Go away! Let me do what I want to."

"Don't talk nonsense. What will you do? You can't do anything about this. Neither I can. Please don't torture yourself like that."

"SHUT UP!!"

You scream at her, running away with wobbly feet.

**# Ethan**

You stand by the biggest window of the floor, no one but darkness,fear,guilt and pain your only companions. You let the memories wash over you.....

••••••••••

_You scan the crowd to see if any doctor is around. Your eyes meet a pair of anxious yet determined eyes._

_"You, Rookie. Get in here."_

_"Yes,doctor!"_

_~_

_"Come on. You know what is it!"_

_She bites her lower lip, trying to remember._

_"It's a haemothorax!"_

_~_

_You notice the scalpel shaking in her hands. You sigh, gently putting your hand on her shaking one. Her small hand fit perfectly under your big and calloused ones. Her skin smooth and soft as velvet._

_•_

_"I can't believe that it made her take the medication!"_

_You exit Barbara's room, looking at her with surprise._

_The blonde intern, Casey Valentine shoots you a mesmerising smile._

_"Will you tell me how you did it?"_

_She pouts a little._

_"No, Dr. Ramsey. A girl gotta keep some secrets."_

_You smile at her words,_

_"So you won't?"_

_"I'm going for an air of mystery. Is it working?"_

_You smirk,_

_"Mildly."_

_~_

_She takes some chocolates from the vending machine._

_"And for whom is that?"_

_"For you. You kept watching them. It's alright to treat yourself sometimes."_

_She smiles softly, handing them to you._

_"I'll keep that in my mind."_

_Before she goes back, you stop her. You remember she wanted you to sign her book. You ask for the copy of 'Diagnostic principals' she had with her._

_"For my biggest fan" ~ Dr. Ethan Ramsey_

_•_

_You notice a bunch of interns entering Donahue's. You sigh, focusing on your drink. You feel someone's presence and look up. You're met with a very familiar pair of beautiful eyes. You look down, slowly taking her in head to toe._

_"Dr. Ramsey? Any problem?"_

_You immediately notice her coy smile. She caught you ogling her in those denim shorts and green velvet top which made you imagine things you shouldn't._

_"Just noticing how..... different you look out in the real world."_

_~_

_She passes you the drink, you smile approvingly as you sniff it._

_"Why neat instead of on the rocks?"_

_"The ice changes the flavour."_

_"Correct answer."_

_~_

_"You don't have anyone waiting at home?"_

_You hesitate... knowing very well in which way the question is meant._

_"Don't take the job home with you, Casey."_

_"I'll keep that in mind....but you didn't answer my question."_

_You shake your head, she's just as stubborn as you._

_"No, nobody waiting at home tonight."_

_•_

_You hold her left hand tightly, while she tries to pick out the frog for Dolores. You relish the way her little hand feels in yours, a soothing warmth radiating from her hand. She pants softly, showing the stuffed frog to you proudly. You pull her up to her feet, dusting her. You notice a faint shade of red along her cheekbones and ears. You smile, knowing very well that you have a power over her._

_~_

_"She named him after you."_

_She softly whispers, placing her hand over yours._

_Your throat tightens, Dolores was one of the few real friends you had...her death shook you badly. But her presence, it calms you down somehow._

_~_

_After having coffee from your coffee machine, you talk with her about various things. You can feel the little cracks in your walls as you slowly let her in more and more each time._

_~_

_You feel something warm snuggling up to you. You open your eyes, freezing on the spot. She was curled up in you, her hands grasping on your coat. You try to move her away... But you fail. Sighing, you put one of your arms around her. She hums happily in her sleep, nuzzling you. You smile, she looked like an angel, her face completely rested and a soft smile on her lips._

_•_

_"What do you think about attending-resident relationship?"_

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"You heard me."_

_"Attendings are responsible for the management and training of the residents. That has to take priority. Romantic entanglements....interfere with that. We're doctors. Any intimate feelings are just neurochemical response to heightened stress and frequent exposure to each other."_

_"Riiiight."_

_•_

_She touches your knee softly,_

_"I'm here."_

_"I know."_

_"You're going to solve this."_

_"You sound awfully overconfident."_

_"I promise I'll help you in every way possible. We will save Naveen."_

_You throw a glance at her,for a moment it feels like..... everything will be fine._

_•_

_"There are some thing that are worth any risk...."_

_You look at her, the beautiful navy blue gown making her look sinfully glamorous. The moonlight cascading over her, illuminates her like a goddess._

_She comes up to your side, softly stroking your cheek._

_"Casey..."_

_"I know."_

_You look down,your own words weighing on you. You suddenly feel alive, and willing to take the risk._

_In a flash,you wound your lips with hers, your arms around her waist. The way her lips feels against yours makes you feel intoxicated._

_She pulls out, panting deliciously,_

_"Dr. Ramsey...."_

_"Ethan."_

_~_

_She grinds against you, and with each passing second you feel like losing yourself in her._

_"What are you doing to me Rookie?"_

_You look up at her, your eyes filled with awe and lust._

_"Hopefully something good."_

_~_

_"We can't go any further. We've already crossed a line."_

_"Did I do something wrong?"_

_You watch a few tears rolling down her face._

_"I'm an attending. And you're running in the competition to be in my team. I'll be your boss."_

_"So what?"_

_"It's complicated....and unethical."_

_You leave her alone in the bedroom, deciding to sleep on the couch._

_Past midnight, you hear muffled sobs and snivels coming from the bedroom. You sit up on the couch, your jaw contracting._

_•_

_"I don't need you to be in my debt,Ethan. I just need some honesty."_

_"I'm not sure what you mean by that."_

_"Be honest about us,Ethan."_

_You look down, a strange wave of emotion taking over you._

_"Please don't make it harder than it already is, Casey."_

_"Then why keep fighting it? We both want this, we both feel this. It almost seems inevitable...."_

_You look at her, your eyes filled with longing and pain. Against your better judgement, you gently stroke her cheek._

_"We are doctors,Casey. Fighting the inevitable is our job description."_

_You walk out in the hallway, trying your best to gather yourself._

_•_

_You lean in to reach her, softly describing the situation in the opera. You keep a close eye on her, and you notice tears rolling down her cheek. Your forehead furrows with concern as you gently wipe the tears away._

_She reaches a tentative finger towards you, brushing the side of your hand. You meet her eyes, troubled. After a few moments, when she notices no actions from you, she looks down, taking her hand away....._

_But you upturn your hand, meeting her. You interlace your fingers with hers, holding tight._

_~_

_The roaring applause suddenly fades away as she presses her lips softly with yours. You lose yourself in the moment, pressing harder for a while until you realize and pull away..._

_"Casey..."_

_"I'm so sorry I-"_

_She walks away towards the railing of the VIP seats._

_You approach her from behind, you can see her form shaking from sobs._

_"You know how complicated this is..."_

_"It's not complicated. Not for me at least, Ethan."_

_You brush a few lingering tears away with your knuckle. She leans in your touch, savoring it._

_"Dammit Casey...."_

_You give up, pulling her back in you. You stubble scratches her skin as you kiss her softly. You run your hands through her hair, trying to soothe her pain. Her petite hands curl around your waist._

_•_

_"Did I do the right thing, Casey?"_

_She wraps her hands around you, pressing her lips with yours in a soft and sweet kiss. You lean into her, you hands tightly wrapping around her waist._

_Tears fall down your cheeks as you kiss her back. You softly trail kisses down the curve of her neck. You linger there, burying your face in the warm comfortable crook of her neck._

_~_

_"I care about you Ethan."_

_Your eyes soften for the briefest moment, and you squeeze her hands._

_"I know."_

_~_

_She blocks the entrance of Edenbrook, her eyes shining with unshed tears._

_"Let me pass."_

_"But people need you.... I need you."_

_You ignore the emotions which triggers inside you from her words._

_"It's time to accept the fact that I'm not the doctor you thought I am."_

_You force her frail hand out of the way, stepping outside._

_•_

_"This is the Ethan Ramsey. The man who can save anyone except the people he gives a damn about. Not Dolores. Not Naveen. Not you."_

_You curse inwardly as you realize what you just said, but she doesn't notice that in the fit of her anger. She stabs a finger in your chest,_

_"Maybe you quit. But you taught me not to. So I'm fighting back. With or without you."_

_~_

_"I want you....you've no idea how much I've wanted you..."_

_Things speed up pretty fast after those words leave your mouth. There you are, your face buried between her legs as you press her against the cold window. You watch her moan and writhe in pleasure._

_"I want it to be as special as you are."_

_You connect your body with hers, the pleasure almost making you lose yourself within seconds. You set a passionate pace, moving harder against her as her pleasure cries ring through your whole bedroom. Both of you reach the peak together, the ecstacy crashing down on you. You gather her in your arms, rolling over._

_~_

_"Do you think that it was a mistake?"_

_Her uncertain whisper reaches your ears._

_"No. How can I? But... Time will tell."_

_You lay quietly, wrapped up in each other. You wonder, how it would feel to have her in your arms for every single night till the rest of your life. But you quickly shake it off._

_•_

_"What was that for?"_

_"For luck."_

_You smile mischievously,_

_"I see. In that case, to pull this off, I'm gonna need a lot more luck."_

_Your lips find each-other's again and again until you're completely lost in her._

_A while later,she pulls away to catch her breath. You touch your forehead with hers, smirking,_

_"I would apologize,but.... I can't say that I'm sorry for that."_

_"Neither am I."_

_~_

_She hugs you tightly from behind, and you stiffen slightly from the sudden gesture. You ease back, basking in the feeling as you touch her hands in response._

_~_

_"Jonah."_

_"Huh?"_

_"My middle name. Ethan Jonah Ramsey."_

_You smile at her,_

_"But I guess, freaking works too."_

_•_

_She blushes a little, taking your hand and guiding you to the bed._

_~_

_You arch your back, your hands in her hair as you feel her lips around you. You marvel her working on you, pleasure building up with each bob of her head._

_"You're incredible."_

_Your muscles flex as you get close, and you pull her back up to you._

_~_

_She wraps her legs around your waist, drawing you near as you enter her. She moans, clawing your back. You cradle her in your arms, your pace quickening. You stare into her green eyes, wanting nothing but more of her._

_•_

_"....Dr. Valentine."_

_You hesitate before acknowledging her, and her face falls._

_"Dr. Ramsey."_

_~_

_"So...um... How do we deal with this..?"_

_"We make it work, what matters is the patients. Right?"_

_".....Right."_

_"Well then,get to work..... Rookie."_

_You notice the tears stinging in her eyes, but you force yourself to not pay attention._

_••••••••••••••_

"Dr. Ramsey!?"

You straighten up, frantically trying to hide your face which must look ugly now.

"Trinh. Is it?"

"Yeah.... Are you crying Dr. Ramsey?"

"Wha- no. No! I'm not..."

"It's okay, I know how it feels."

You look down, your mind still dizzy with her thoughts. You try to stop another batch of tears from breaking through.

**# Sienna**

You watch him, struggling badly to compose himself. You sigh, 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah..."

His voice sounds gravely.

"Have you told Casey...?"

"What will I tell her-?"

"Dr. Ramsey......we talked about this earlier. I know you have feelings for her even if you refuse to say anything. Have you told her how you feel?"

".......No, I didn't. But she- "

"She..... what?"

His voice wavers, and he whispers,

"She told me how much- I -"

He stops short covering his face, grunting a little.

"I see..... Dr. Ramsey."

You don't really know what to tell him. Not when.... You yourself never told Danny how you felt. And now... it's all-

"Trinh? What happened?"

You look down, your voice growing thick with emotions.

"I don't really know how to sympathize with you. Not when..... I made the same mistake myself."

"Are you talking about.... Danny?"

"Yeah.... I never told him. And now, I lost the chance forever. H-he made me happy like no one did. He made me feel safe. And... I cared about him,a lot. But...now it's nothing, isn't it?"

"I'm so sorry....but don't talk like that Trinh."

"Dr. Ramsey..... I feel sorry for you. Because you know what? This guilt of not telling her will eat you up, everyday, till your last breath."

**# Ethan**

You look down, a lump growing in your throat as you hear her. You should've told Casey. You shouldn't have pushed her away and hurt her so many times. You...

"I'll leave you alone to your thoughts,Dr. Ramsey. You seem more unstable than me."

"Trinh.... I just wanted to thank you."

"Why?"

"For taking care of Casey, for loving her. For supporting her through everything."

"You don't need to thank me for that, she means a lot to me."

She stops, considering her words,

"And I guess for you too...."

She squeezes your shoulder, walking away somewhere else.

You sigh, her memories : the way her eyes sparkled, the way her smile lit up the whole room, the way she felt when you were intimate with her, the way she brilliantly solved cases, crashing down on you like tidal waves.

You remember her face when you told her, "Consider us reset."

You remember the way she pressed her lips with yours that night, only to get turned down again.

You can only imagine what she went through those two months. But you surely know one thing, you've been the reasons of her tears too many times. Too many. 

You think how it would've been if in a alternate universe you two were together. You can clearly see waking up with her in the same bed, you can see going to bed with her in the night. You can see a lot of intimacy, love and passion. Most importantly, you can see a future.

But... it's not that alternate universe. It's the real world. Where you made so many mistakes over and over. Where you broke her and yourself by your actions. 

You kick on the floor, after all of these mistakes, maybe finally you were in the right path. Since you kissed her in front of your apartment, things were slowly going towards that future you were thinking about. But...world isn't that generous,right?

They had to take her away from you. They had to.

A soft voice interrupts you.

"Ethan....how are you holding up?"

You risk a glance backwards, noticing Naveen.

"Naveen? Why are you here? I told you to stay away from this floor! It's too dangerous! And you should be busy with handling the hospital and media! Why are you here?"

"Ethan.....I had to visit her. She's my grand-protégé. Don't you remember?"

You look down, briefly remembering the incidents of just last year. 

"Yeah. I do........"

"I know it's hard for you.... I just wanted to inform you that she's really unstable. Even the paramedic Rafael is in a better position currently. Some of her friends are crying because apparently they gave up. Some of the doctors and nurses are still trying though."

Your blood runs cold, and his words seem to stab you straight on your heart.

"I've talked with Tobias, he said they made a very promising progression. But it'll take more time. If only she can pull through the whole night." 

You look back at Naveen, nodding at him with sheer determination.

"I'll make sure that she pulls through the night."

He gives you faint smile,

"Are you sure? I can see how much it has taken a toll on you. You don't need to-"

"I know. But I want to."

"Okay, Ethan. If you say so...."

He looks at you, clearly concerned. You pat him on the shoulder,

"Don't worry. I'll save her. I have to save her."

You stride towards the sanitisation tunnel, grabbing your hazmat suit on the way.

You inhale a steadying breath, entering her room. The few doctors and nurses assigned for her look at you, surprised. You hold your head high, your voice commanding,

"You all are free to go. Take some rest, I'll page someone if I need help."

They share relieved glances, thanking you before leaving.

You fix your eyes on her limp,pale form. You hands turn into fists.

_'Stay strong, Ethan.'_

You move to her bedside, softly taking her right hand in yours, you whisper,

"Casey....I promise,I won't let you leave me alone. I won't give up on you......on us. I'm going to fix all the mistakes I made. I'm going to give you everything you deserve. Just stay with me, hang in there. You'll be alright..... You have to be."

You look at her unconscious face, the tear stains still visible. You stroke her cheek softly.

"Once you get up..... I'll tell you everything. How I feel about you, how much you mean to me, how much I want us...."

You smile a little, 'us' sounded really nice. And it felt amazing to say.

"Until then... Don't give up. Don't you dare to give up."

You stay up all night, checking on her vitals, trying your best to keep her vitals stable.....

•

On a very early morning, you hear a someone opening the door. You watch June striding in with a syringe and a....

"Is that? Did all of you really-"

"Yes, it is!"

You look at the mirror, Tobias standing with a proud smile.

"We've managed to make a compound which will bind to the maitotoxin and prevent it from attaching to her plasma membranes!"

You smile at them, a warmth engulfing you with hope.

"Thank you,Tobias. It really means a lot. Honestly I didn't expect-"

"Oh, Ethan. Now shut up and do the honours."

You smile, nodding. June hands you the injection. You take it with a smile, sitting beside her bed, you take her hand. You check the injection one last time, smoothly inserting it in her veins, dispensing the serum.

You look at her, your eyes watering from the hope of getting her back. You shake your head softly, asking June,

"What about Rafael? Did-"

"Baz and Jackie already gave him the injection. He's not responsive yet, but his vitals are stable, I think he will recover faster."

"I see."

You nod, thanking both of them once again.

"Make sure to check her blood every hour. Don't get distracted."

Tobias smirks at you.

You arch your eyebrow, 

"Of course. And what do you mean by distraction?"

"Oh, trust me. You know Ethan."

You shake your head at him as he and June go back to the labs.

With a smile on your face, you sit beside her bed,

"Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for hanging in there. Everything will be alright now. Everything."

~

You take her blood samples to the lab every hour, returning with a bigger smile on your face than the previous time every single time.

~

On the 6th test, you anxiously tap your feet against the floor, waiting for the machine to process data. A loud beep announces that the results are ready. You quickly go through the basics, your eyes gluing on the maitotoxin traces.

¶ Maitotoxin traces : Not found ¶ *blood

∆ Maitotoxin traces : Not found ∆ *skin

√ Maitotoxin traces : Not found √ *air

You open your mouth to say something, but immediately close it as the rush of adrenaline makes your heart thud against your chest. 

You take off, you feel like a 5 year old again who just received the best news. You enter her room, panting slightly. You slump down on the seat, finally taking her hands in yours. Her skin feels a little cold, but taking it cautiously, you place it against your cheek.

"I almost can't believe that you're real......"

Your voice thickens with the overwhelming emotions suddenly hitting you. Her vitals are all stable, but she's not awake yet. You kiss her palm, then all her fingers one by one.

"I- I thought that I lost you....forever."

You look down, fighting the urge of tears.

An hour passes by.... Her vitals inching to normal now. You peer on her face, waiting for her to open eyes.

**# Casey**

You move your hand slightly, the world around you all black. You feel something warm resting by one of your hands. You run your fingers over it, softly clutching on it with your thumb and index. You hear a familiar voice calling out to you, and you try to flutter your eyes open. As soon as you open your eyes, blinding light forces you to close them again, but meanwhile, you feel two strong hands wrapping around you tightly. You run your hands over the person, trying to make them out. That's when you catch a very familiar cologne. It's really subtle, but you can smell it from his coat.

"E-ethan? Where is your- suit? You'll get-"

Your voice comes out in a barely audible choke. You feel his hands squeezing you just a bit tighter.

"Shh, everything is fine now. I was so afraid. I thought I lost you-"

His voice is a low whisper as he mutters against your neck.

"Lost....me?"

"Yeah. I thought that I blew up the one single shot of happiness in my life."

"What are you talking.... about?"

"Casey....you were in a coma."

You pull back from his embrace, searching his eyes.

"Wha-what? A coma?"

He lunges forward, hugging you tightly again.

"Yeah, a scary one. Your vitals were really weak."

"Then how...?"

"Tobias and the whole team made an antidote. And it worked successfully."

You smile, nuzzling his face,

"That means I don't have any maitotoxin-"

"No. It wiped out completely. You're safe now."

"And what about Raf? Is he....?"

"He woke up two hours ago, Rookie."

"Oh. That's- so great."

You curl your weak hands around him, hugging him back. You feel his tears soaking through your hospital gown.

"Ethan? Why are you-?"

He touches his forehead with yours, you notice how red and tired they look. The usual glimmer gone.

"Casey....I want to tell you some very important things. I realized so many things."

"Okay...."

"Last night.... I tried, I really tried to tell you how I feel... about you. But I couldn't. I'm so sorry. I know I made you cry and that's why your condition worsened. I'm so sorry for putting you through that-"

"Please don't blame yourself for my coma, Ethan. It's not your fault at all. I- I don't...."

You look down, your eyes blurring from the tears.

"Casey...."

He cradles your face in his arms, whispering,

"Please don't. I've put you through enough. I don't want to see you cry anymore."

"Ethan....."

"I tried to think of a possible reason for which I couldn't voice my feelings for you. I- Casey I'm afraid that-"

"What is it?"

"I can't really put it in words. The feelings you trigger in me. I- I've never felt these feelings for anyone before. It's all new. Words will fail me. Words aren't enough to describe how much I care about you.... How much you mean to me.... How much I-"

He shakes his head, stroking your cheek tenderly,

"The words failed me again."

You look up at him, a soft smile on your lips.

"It's alright, Ethan. I care about you too, a lot more than you know. You mean the world to me."

"I know.... You told me last night, remember?"

"I don't really remember what I blurted out yesterday...."

"Hush. You didn't blurt out anything. Every single word you said, made sense."

He presses a lingering kiss on your forehead,

"I promise I won't push you away again. I won't give up on you.... _on us."_

Your lips part slightly, your heart beating faster,

"Really..? You mean it?"

He buries his face in your shoulder, 

"Yes. I mean it. You're too important for me. More than anything else."

"Ethan... I'm- so..."

"Casey.... I- yesterday I felt like I'll never get to talk with you, or touch you again. I saw my world shattering in front of me... and I'm so so grateful that you're real."

He presses his ear against your left breast, listening to your heart. He places a chaste kiss there, 

"I'm so grateful... That I got a chance to fix my mistakes."

You run your fingers through his thick, messed up hair, 

"Ethan... I can't describe how special and precious I feel right now..."

"Good. Because you are. You're very special, and the most precious thing in my life."

You touch your nose with his, a few tears escaping your eyes.

"No one has ever said that to me."

You sniff, and he kisses your tears away.

"Rookie, I- I can see a future with you. A very happy one."

"R-really?"

"Yeah. And I was wondering....if you want to have that future...with me? I understand if it's too much right now..... I'll wait for you if you need time-"

You look into his eyes, as if searching for a universal truth.

"Of course I want to!"

You throw yourself on him, and he catches you tightly, his own tears mixing with yours as you two hold onto each other for dear life.

_"We were written in the stars,my love. All that separated us, was time. The time it took to read the map placed within our hearts, to find our way back to 'us'." ~ unknown_


End file.
